Friday, July 23, 2010


I have been suffering from occasional vertigo. I read somewhere in the begining of all of this, that it is common in widows. It seemed like a random ailment.

And then I started to suffer from it. It hits out of no where, without warning. Sometimes it's brief, and sometimes it lasts hours.

Today was a hard day at work. Just general crazies and mean people. It was annoying and upsetting. I would have called Bryan. He would have listened, sympathized, tried to "fix it" and then made me laugh. And while I was driving to a patients house, I realized I have no one to talk to. Yes, I do know that people love me and would listen. But they wouldn't have the system down like Bryan did.

And that's when today's vertigo started. I was feeling fine before that. I'm sure there is a medical reason why it happens to widows. But I've come up with my own. I think it's the bodies reaction to this new life of the perpetual feeling of being off kilter, so unsure of myself. And I need to find my new center of gravity, since Bryan was always it. I just wish it was a quick fix.

1 comment:

  1. I don't get veritgo (well maybe I don't get it yet .... I'm about a week behind you in joining this damn widowhood club from what I can figure, so maybe I speak to soon) .... but I know that feeling of being out of kilter with the rest of the world. Gravity doesn't feel right.