wants

I want my old life back. I am sitting here, thinking about what I had. What I have lost. And it seems so unfair. I want a partner. I want my kids to have a father. I want someone to sit next to in church. I want someone to hold my hand while walking. I want someone to hold me in their arms at night.

Scratch that. I don't want someone. I want Bryan. I. Want. Bryan. I WANT BRYAN!!!!!!!!

And as happy as I am now, it's not even an eighth of as happy as I once was. And that seems so incredibly unfair. That I will never be as happy as I once was. I will forever have a part of me that misses Bryan, that misses what I once had. I will never ever be truly happy.

What a depressing thought.