After I wrote my previous post I realized I am back in the blahs. Knowing that I will never be happy again. That I will always know how harsh life can be. That death is always around the corner. And that I will always wonder what life with Bryan would have been like. And that makes me so sad.
But, I also feel like I can't tell people that. That people want me to be OK. Maybe even need me to be OK. And I want to be able to do that for them. Because they have all done so much for me. And it makes me feel so much more alone.